Nothing will drain your happiness or infect you faster than a negative person. What do I mean exactly by a negative person? A negative person is someone who constantly complains about things:
Traffic, politics, life, work, people, school, children, their husbands or wives, YOU NAME IT…They complain about it!
And since you’re reading this blog post online, let’s start addressing social media. How many of us have Facebook friends that post negative posts almost back-to-back 7 days a week? I bet you can name that person right off the top of your head, right? Of course you can.
Now listen, don’t get the wrong idea. When I say complain, I don’t mean mindful venting here and there (I’m from New Jersey, so sarcasm is built into my DNA. I like to throw a good playful jab every now and then at my least favorite band of all-time: The Eagles). I’m referring to a constant barrage of soul-sucking, life-draining, and misery inducing complaints (If 90% of what you talk/post about is angry and “against” something, you fit in this category). The crazy part is: these folks have no idea that they’re pushing people away with their negativity, even if they are right about what they’re saying!
Sometimes these individuals may even have a few good points. But, the thing is: if you constantly complain, PEOPLE WILL STOP LISTENING.
They won’t care about what you have to say because it is draining to listen to someone complain all the time. After a while, that person is known as “Misery,” and everyone knows it except them. Then they start wondering why people stop reaching out to them, stop calling them, and don’t want to hang out with them.
Bottom line, it mentally and physically hurts to be around negative people!
I’m not telling you to pretend everything is peachy and put on a fake smile either. Things happen in life that suck and I’m not going to lie, some people are so happy and over-the-top positive that it kind of strikes a nerve, not because I’m a “hater,” but because I feel there has to be a balance in everything. Not everything is enjoyable. And, for every sucky thing in life, there are a lot more awesome things to be thankful for.
So, why not focus on the things you LIKE and are thankful for instead? Why not focus on the positives? The positives feel so much better and people LIKE to be around positive people.
Here’s a rule I like to use so I don’t fall into a negative state: 90% positive, 10% negative. (Sorry, folks, I’m not Deepak.)
Blow off some steam with the 10%. There are some things we HAVE to speak up about that aren’t right and we cannot overlook. Make sure you don’t stay in 10% for too long. Anything more than 10% negative and people will start tuning you out.
Here’s a test for you: Look back over your last 10 Facebook posts. How many are negative and how many are positive? Look at the ratio and let’s get to work on bringing down the negatives.
Peter Kaufmann is a professional musician, writer, life coach, and owner of Rockin Lifestyle. For more on Pete, visit www.rockinlifestyle.com