Love in the City: How Well Do You Know Your Lover?

You may think you know everything about your significant other, but when was the last time you had to prove it? Unless you’re set to guest on a remake of “The Newlywed Game,” it’s pretty unlikely you’ll get a practical opportunity to test your knowledge… but that’s about to change.

As part of my deep commitment to the romantic lives of BELLA readers, I have crafted a simple quiz to test your knowledge of your lover. Is it scientific? Of course not. Was it created with the help of professional relationship counselors? Don’t be silly. Will it illuminate deep, dark truths about the most personal connection you will ever share with someone? Only an airhead would believe that. What it will show is whether you pay attention when that warm body you like to snuggle with talks—and that reveals more about the state of your relationship than anything else.

Do you know your lover’s…

1 – Favorite food?

  1. a) “Not only is it committed to memory, but I prepare it often.”
  2. b) “I’m pretty sure I know which restaurant he likes.”
  3. c) “I think I can guess the food group.”
  4. d) “He eats food… I know that.”

2 – Favorite movie? 

  1. a) “Not only have I seen it, but I can even quote the best lines.”
  2. b) “I’m fairly clear on the genre she prefers.”
  3. c) “I’m 100 percent sure he likes popcorn.”
  4. d) “Who cares? Movies are stupid.”

3 – Most cherished childhood memory?

  1. a) “Yes, and I have committed it to memory like it was my own.”
  2. b) “She told me once, but I forgot.”
  3. c) “He never said, and I never asked.”
  4. d) “Wait… she was a child?”

4 – Shoe size?

  1. a) “Of course, plus the width, style, and sole preference, too.”
  2. b) “No, but I can check in her closet if I have to.”
  3. c) “About… this big?”
  4. d) “Other people’s feet disgust me.”

5 – Best friend?

  1. a) “Absolutely, and whenever she drops by we all have a great time.”
  2. b) “Yeah, but I really can’t stand watching him eat.”
  3. c) “He doesn’t need any friends; he has me.”
  4. d) “For sure—we used to date!”

6 – Private health issue?

  1. a) “I did all I could to research treatment and provide the necessary support.”
  2. b) “I drive her to the doctor whenever she wants.”
  3. c) “I Googled it once, but only to see if it was infectious.”
  4. d) “Body things are icky!”

7 – Favorite color?

  1. a) “Yes, and I have coordinated my entire home around it.”
  2. b) “Yes, but I will only buy underwear in that shade.”
  3. c) “I’m color-blind, so it had better be gray.”
  4. d) “Only idiots have a favorite color.”

8 – Dream vacation?

  1. a) “We’ve already taken it together!”
  2. b) “I started a savings account to make it happen.”
  3. c) “Yes, but it doesn’t involve traveling together.”
  4. d) “He needs to get a job before he can take a vacation from it.”

9 – Biggest fear?

  1. a) “When I found out I did my best to erase it from his mind as a concern.”
  2. b) “I told her she’d never have to face it alone.”
  3. c) “I did a spit-take and laughed out loud.”
  4. d) “Sure, I use it as leverage.”

10 – Sexiest turn-on?

  1. a) “Let’s just say I have no trouble getting his motor running.”
  2. b) “Yes, but I refuse to wear the Wonder Woman costume more than twice a year.”
  3. c) “I always get my turn-ons confused with hers.”
  4. d) “A slight breeze turns him on. How about a turn-off?”

SCORING

Add 5 points for every time you answered A, 4 points for every B, 3 points for every C, and 1 point for every D.

50 POINTS – No one can say you don’t know your mate, but it appears to be in a creepy, Stepford sort of way. Maybe calm down a little and let them catch up. This is looking way too one-sided.

30-49 POINTS – It’s clear you care about your lover and you take your relationship seriously. Nice work! Now bug them to take the quiz so you can determine which of you is the better catch in this competitive “love match.”

15-29 POINTS – You either have lots of room for growth or the two of you are actually strangers thrown together in the witness protection program. Whatever it is, you’ve got some serious work ahead if you want to make it more convincing. Get busy—your lives may depend on it!

LESS THAN 15 – Are you even trying? A stalker puts more effort into a relationship than you do. Either get a clue and start taking an interest or break this off now. I mean, really—have you even made eye contact in six months?

By: Jarrod Thalheimer

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